Wednesday, July 10, 2013

A Good Mama

When I was pregnant with my first daughter, my mother said something to me that I didn't quite understand at the time.

"Don't get all caught up in what makes a good mama or a bad mama. Just love your baby and have faith."

I nodded and rubbed my itching belly.

After Mini Me was born, I spent a year in New Mom Haze. Diapers, breastfeeding, and sleepless nights defined my existence. I read articles that said my baby should be doing one thing or another by a certain age, and I blamed myself when she didn't hit said milestone.

I compared myself to other moms, the ones who talked about using cloth diapers and had perfect babies who slept all night and walked at 8 months.

What a crock.

I wish I had known then what I know now. Sure, those babies slept all night, but they probably had to be in bed with their parents, which was often wet because the diapers leaked. Or, those parents ate Ramen Noodles out of paper cups because they couldn't find time to wash dishes.

In other words, nobody's perfect.

I see things more realistically the second time around. Lil Ma is a sweet girl. She giggles when you pretend to sneeze, and she is fascinated by socks. She also is quite stubborn. When Lil Ma doesn't get her way, she cries at a glass-shattering frequency. I have yet to figure out how to deal with that.

And that's ok. As my girls grow up, I will no doubt make mistakes. Instead of getting caught up in the "Good Mama, Bad Mama Drama," I will continue to love them and have faith that I'm doing what's best.