I'm sitting in a tiny room in ICU for the seventh day in a row. This daily hour with my mom is part of my new schedule.
Wake up at 6:30. Go to work. Leave early. Go to hospital. Go home. Go to bed. The 6:30 alarm goes off again all too soon.
I'm tired. Mentally more than physically. My mother is not the same, and it will be a slow process for her to come back to herself. The brain is unpredictable and amazing, so it cannot be put on a schedule. We will have to wait.
It's scary to watch. My mother has always been witty and sharp. Right now, I'm listening to her tell me about Lady Astercat, a figment of her imagination. I want to burst out into tears, but instead, I ask what color bow she wears. Momma tells me pink and that she drew her. "She's a well drawn cat," she says. "It's a really pretty picture. Lady Astercat is a prominent, significant figure." I'm thankful for the solid, declarative sentence and that she still has a big vocabulary. One day it will all make sense again.
Until then, I will continue to wait and be prayerful. I must also be mindful to take care of myself.
Which has not been without its challenges. I forgot to eat on Monday, then I had 5 taco supremes at midnight. Not good. I know I have to do better.
"She comes from a strong line," Momma says.
"Who?" I ask.
"Elyse," she says. "It's a real strong line."
Yes, it's a real strong line. We will get there in time.
-- Post From My iPhone
3 comments:
I told Rosemary the other day that we're not going to stop proclaiming Miss Maxine's victory until she's FULLY recovered -- even better than before. Know that you have people continuing to pray with and for your family.
Thanks for stopping by my blog! I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. I can't imagine how difficult that must be for you. I'll be lifting her up in prayer.
Wish you and your mom and your family well. I can only imagine the trying time but it's a beautiful thing - your choosing to remain hopeful and prayerful.
Strong lines, indeed.
God bless.
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